A Pinch of Happiness
by Galadiel
Summary: As long as something gives you even a pinch of happiness, you should go for it. Young!Remus Lupin oneshot.


"Hey, Moony, are you going?"

"The feast's bound to start in a few minutes, and I bet you wouldn't like to miss it..."

"Head Boy... our little perfect boy..."

"Hey, shut it."

Remus felt his cheeks burning with a blush. Although he could hear his friends' voices in the back, he did not say a word; moreover, he dared not even glance over his shoulder, a bit afraid of what they would see in his face. There was no-one else who could understand as much as Padfoot, and no-one else who could tease him like Prongs did. He was only glad that Wormtail for some reason decided to help him in this quite difficult situation.

That was exactly how he had always been sure it would have ended if he had told his friends about his plans. And yet, he had still decided to tell them; there had never been anything he would have hidden away from them. Even if he had known that they would start laughing.

Because, at the end of the day, they were his friends.

"You look perfectly fine, you really needn't to smoothe this hair anymore," said Sirius, putting his broad hand on his shoulder.

"Unless you want to look like Snivellus, then keep going, your hair might be just as greasy as his in a few minutes," added James, lying back on his bed once again, ignoring the fact he still had his shoes on.

"You should stop." It was the first sentence Remus was able to form, even though he still felt quite tense. "You know what Lily said... that if you kept insulting him, she'd break up with you, and there's nothing I could be so sure of as of Lily's truthfulness."

"And of Snivellus's greasy hair." James grinned, then sighed a little, knowing that Moony was right. He always was. "Fine, fine. But when I'm with you, I can keep saying that, eh? I'll be controlling myself when I'm with her, I guess she should appreciate _that_."

"He's her friend, Prongs," stated Remus. "Take that under consideration."

"Whichever friend calls a girl a Mudblood, Moony?" James snorted. "Anyway, bud, I think you look better than you ever have. There's really no need to keep standing in front of a mirror, unless you want to fall in love with your reflection, then it's the best way."

In five minutes, they were already crossing the corridors. It was one of the last times they could do that, Remus knew; it was going to be their last feast, since they had, after seven years of studying, finally graduated. It was a dream coming true. He had been wishing that would happen since he had first got his letter those seven years before... His parents had been so proud of him – well, nothing strange, he had been sure the school would not accept him because of _what_ he was, but Dumbledore... Dumbledore had changed it all.

Had he not accepted him, nothing of it all would have happened – and then, there they were, the most ingenious four of all the students at Hogwarts. Ever.

Sometimes, he would compare their four to the great founders of the school. James, the daring brave genius; Sirius, the mysterious and cunning member of a pure-blood family; Peter, the loyal and fair friend, who could only strive for what the rest of them had. And he, Remus, the ingelligent and resourceful brain of the bunch. He had no doubts the school would remember them – and they were definitely going to make sure of that.

Nevertheless, in a couple of days they were no longer going to be just students. They were now adults, and the following day they would be able to call themselves fully-educated wizards. He knew that James wanted to be an Auror, a perfect job for him. Peter, as always terrified of the future, wished he could just get any job that would help him survive. Meanwhile Sirius decided to do nothing – although he did not plan on returning to his family house, knowing his mother simply execrated him, he was not used to work. He did, however, like the feeling of risk, and being a reckless person with lots of charm, he was certain that he would somehow find a way to live without the whole bothering "work" thing, as he called it.

As for Remus, though, he had no hopes for any work whatsoever; aware of the existing laws, he had to know that people like him could not work in many sectors, therefore he wished he would be able to at least get some contracts to live from one day to another.

The only one who had decided to get married, though, was James. Sirius did not seem to be interested in women at all (which was quite strange, seeing that many girls were definitely _very_ interested in him), Peter, even though he did struggle for attention, had never found himself a girlfriend. James was the lucky one – after many years of trying hard, he finally had managed to convince Lily Evans to go on a date with him. From then on, it had all gone like an avalanche, and finally, he had proposed to her, and she – to everyone else's bewilderment – had accepted him.

"What about you?" asked James as soon as he shared the good news with his friends. "I know there's a girl you care for..."

Remus did not answer. Pretending he was very busy re-reading his notes, he did not even look up at James. Only when Prong covered the parchment with his broad hand did he sigh and slowly raise his eyes.

"What?" he asked irritably.

"The girl, Moony. The one you've been meeting for months now in secret," replied James emphatically.

All the colour left Moony's face.

"How do you..."

"Wormtail, bud," said James, grinning, and Peter seemed to curl up even more. "You know what he's like... he's seen you, and he's told us, because you were such a coward."

"I was not a coward!" exploded Remus, his pale face immediately turning red. "You... you don't understand what it's like! I'm a... a monster, and she's... she's the most beautiful girl in the world. So intelligent, so gentle... you don't understand..."

"No, we don't," agreed Sirius, "but I bet you've told her already about your furry little problem."

Remus swallowed.

"I have," he admitted.

"Then don't you think that if she accepts you the way you are, you should be honest with yourself? There might never be another like her. And remember we live in turbulent times. We can't be sure we'll still be alive tomorrow. Take this risk, Moony. It may be now or never."

Now or never. Those words had been echoing in Remus's head all the time since the moment Sirius said them out loud, leaving him completely defenseless. He had been right; Remus might have been the most intelligent of them all, but he knew nothing of real life. Of feelings and relationships. In this case, he needed his friends' help.

And they were more than just willing to offer it to him; the price, however, was quite high – their little teasings had got almost unbearable in the last days, and now, as they were heading to the Great Hall, he felt almost like cursing one of them, just so they would shut up.

"You lost your chance!" said James once they got past the threshold, casting a glance toward the one of the long tables. "I think someone's already stolen your date."

"Oh, shut up," growled Remus, putting his hand on James's shoulder and simply pushing him slightly aside. He heard his little laughter as he made his terribly long way towards the Ravenclaw table, which usually was no more than just a couple of feet.

She was there, he could see her dark, curly hair, he could hear her rippling laugh. As always, she was surrounded by her friends; although she was not all that popular, like James or Sirius, for example, there were many people who enjoyed her presence, and it was hard to find her completely alone. The only moments they could spend without anyone's unwanted company was when they were studying together in the library – or when they snuck out of their Common Rooms long after the curfew to meet in empty classrooms.

If he ever were to spend his life with anyone, it would be her. He could imagine waking up to see her freckled face, brilliant green eyes, little nose and pouty lips every morning. He could imagine falling asleep, caressing her beautiful, curly hair while holding her soft curves against his body. He could imagine the two of them silver-headed, still loving each other. What he could not imagine, though, was losing her just the following day, even though their world worked like that, with Voldemort awaiting them outside the school...

"Faye?" he said, his voice trembling with nervousness and emotion. The giggling around her stopped, as she shook her head, giving them a sign she wanted to talk to someone. "Can... can we have a moment...?"

"Sure, Remus," she replied brightly, jumping onto her feet, ignoring the fact that some of her friends made some teasing comments about it. "What is it?"

Moony felt strange. He knew what stress was, and it had nothing to do with that. After all, it did not feel like what he experienced before his exams, although the sensation around his stomach could be a little bit similar... and his heart beating fast, his hands sweating... There were so many people around, and he wished they would not be starting...

"Listen, there's something..." he began, but suddenly Dumbledore's voice rumbled across the Great Hall. Faye took his hand and pulled him onto the seat right next to her. Remus felt her warm, little hand against his, and gave it a soft squeeze.

It was the only feast he actually spent away from his friends; he could notice from the corner of his eye their mocking glances. They kept whispering to each other, despite the fact Dumbledore was still talking, and Remus had got a feeling that they were whispering about him – no wonder, Faye after all that time was still holding his hand... it was as though she was not afraid of letting the people know. Besides, her friends did not even seem to be surprised – did it mean she had let them all know...?

After what felt like forever, when the plates were suddenly filled with differend kinds of food, he turned to glance at her; she was already looking at him, smiling, her green eyes glistening happily. How could he be so lucky...?

"What did you want to tell me, Remus?" she asked softly.

"I am not quite sure if it's the best idea to ask such a question in a hall full of people," he muttered, bringing another burst of laughter from her lips.

"Sometimes you're like a little boy," she told him. "I heard about Lily Evans and that Potter boy. They're very lucky."

Moony's stomach did a strange somersault.

"Yes, they... they are," he admitted, knowing that Faye was trying to hint at something.

"We never know what could happen tomorrow, right?" she asked, looking down at their joined hands. "People get married in fear, but at least that would give them a little bit of happiness..."

"Faye, I think..." he started, but the girl shook her head. He could smell a faint fragrance of her perfume.

"No, Remus. I think that as long as something gives you even a pinch of happiness, you should go for it. I know, if we lived in quiet times, when we wouldn't need to be worried about our lives, it would be simply different. But it's not like that. Sure, I would love to have a beautiful wedding and all, but... but right now, I just want to be with you."

She was so smart. So brave. Remus always wondered why she was not a Gryffindor.

"So... does that mean that you and me..."

"Please, don't tell me you got a ring for me, I'd probably lose it tomorrow morning, and it would make me so ashamed of..."

But he did not let her finish. Without thinking of the others anymore, he pulled her close, cradling her in his arms, and crashed his lips against hers. Yes, he could hear whistles and cries of joy around them, but could he ever care less?

When the next afternoon he sat in the Hogwarts Express, he felt his heart swell with happiness. James kept boasting about the wonderful future awaiting him, but Remus knew one thing for sure: nothing could compare to the quiet joy he kept hidden in his heart.

Or at least so he thought then, because the following morning, once his glance landed on a little article in the latest issue of the Daily Prophet, he realised that he was looking right in the eyes of his beloved. Underneath the minute photograph, in which she grinned happily, her eyes glistening with happiness just like during the feast, was just a short note.

_Faye Bradford (18) was found dead in the ruins of her house in Bibury, Gloucestershire, early this morning. She is said to be killed by one of the Death Eaters._


End file.
